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Freedom From Having To Feel Sorry & The Down Side Of Wanting To Help

By Andy Shaw | April 28, 2010

I started to write this article on charity and for the first time I can remember I found myself lost in writing. I went down six or seven routes to try and nutshell this, but each one led me to digging in deep. I came to the conclusion that I could not present a nutshell or this without writing a book on the subject – and none of us want that. So instead it lead me to understand deeper that our whole thoughts behind charity are such a mess, even though from the external view they appear really, really simple. This is a very cunning illusion.

Here’s how they look simple: –

As I said, this is a very cunning illusion.

So instead of trying to write the definitive work on charity, I am going to just share some of the truths I have realised and discovered about it. The simple answer though is that what we have been trained to think about charity is wrong. And charitable thinking does not help us or the ones we desire to help get where we desire to go.

Here’s a simplified version of what charitable thoughts actually look like

Very simply put, our thoughts on charity are backwards and if you desire to create a deliberate life for yourself then you need to know about this stuff that goes on in your mind so that you can observe it properly and see what shines through and what dissolves when light is shined on it.

I Don’t Feel Sorry For Anyone

Feeling sorry sends a lack thought to the person you are feeling sorry for. In other words you are sending them negative thought energy. You are therefore having negative thoughts yourself.

No thought stands still as it either takes you towards what you desire, or away from it. The negative thought takes you away (yes it does). You merely cancel this negativity out by sending money or taking action of some sort. A negative and a positive in this situation could at best create a nil result. But most will disagree and say all of the good they have seen done with isolated cases, which is very true. But I am not looking here in isolation. I am looking at the whole problem.

However, a better way to think is if you did not have the negative thought in the first place then you could just take the action instead and create one certain positive and one maybe positive.

And the maybe positive is the sending of money, as there is no guarantee that this was the right course of action. It is merely the one that we feel is right. The positive action is to instead of feeling sorry, send a positive thought to them instead. You can do this by seeing a positive outcome for them in your mind. In doing this you are sending a creative thought instead of a destructive one.

So in all that I have learned, I have learned that the truth is to not feel sorry for anyone, but instead to sit and create in my mind the thought of a positive outcome for the person. I can still take other action, but there is no benefit to the recipient of feeling sorry. It has no benefit at all. You could say that by feeling sorry you therefore feel more guilty and therefore feel compelled to send more…does anyone see any positivity in this way of thinking really? If in doubt, think about it for a while.

So nearly all people automatically feel sorry and then are sending the person a lack thought. Which of course is actually a very nasty thing to do to someone. This really goes against the grain. So it requires thought. Or you could just dismiss it, disagree and move on without thinking, consciousness, or unconsciousness, unfortunately I have now made it a choice for you (You of course were an active participant as you decided to read in the first place).

How Can I Be Of Service To Others

Charity to me is very simple; it is service to others in the best way I can be. Which means doing things that improve other people’s lives. This is not the same as philanthropy. Philanthropy is an altruistic concern for the well being of (insert your chosen cause).

There are untold ‘causes’ and more coming up every day. After all there would be; charity is a growth industry. Like any disease the need spreads when we look at it. Whatever we focus on grows!

People get involved in a, ‘My cause is more important than your cause,’ argument. ‘How can you care about Penguins when there are children dying in Africa?’ This is a pointless thought as there is of course no right answer. It is like Tic Tac Toe; the only way to win the game is to not play… But then standing by creates its own set of mind problems.

You could go deeper here and say that one of those children you saved in Africa goes on to be the next Hitler… he acquires atomic weapons and kills 20 million people in cities all across Africa… Extreme I know, but we have no idea of the downstream affects of our actions. We merely think by helping that we are doing the right thing. Is it our right to interfere? I am not saying yes or no, I am merely saying we should look at it from that point of view as well.

To me, what charity boils down to how can you help another! If you’re improving the world, however you choose to define that, then you can consider your job well done.

Healing Is An Inside Out Thing

But, all permanent change comes from the inside out. One of the things I have studied at length is health and modern medicine works on an outside in fix, which of course results in failure or a temporary fix at best. If it is not prevention rather than treatment, then any other change will be temporary.

Trying to change things using an outside in approach is always going to be doomed to failure. I now understand that I can only change the planet one person at a time. I started with myself.

Our planet’s suffering is a bottomless pit! People are trying to heal it from the outside in and this is an impossible task, as more and more causes are springing up all of the time. This is plate spinning on a gigantic level! This way of ‘fixing it’ will never work! To have permanent change, it simply must come from the inside.

As an example of this look at yourself right now. You are reading all I have written and change is occurring in you. You are starting to see life differently and observe how your mind has had it backwards in so many ways. This is real change happening, which you are bringing about.

All I am doing is putting signposts up for you to look at, you are BE ‘ing’ the change. It is happening now on the inside of you. So the change, as long as you keep some of your thinking on your inside, will be permanent. You will not go out and create more pain for yourself. You will now go out and create the life you desire… this is real change.

Now for a second, just imagine if you could stop people creating all the problems in the first place; then there would be no need for any charity. People don’t lack money, they lack inspiration. Will power is an external force, inspiration is internal. One requires effort and one is the ultimate power as it is blessed with perpetual energy.

The larger point here though is to not struggle against a force as struggling creates more struggling. If we want to change the world or our own lives then the answer is simple; we have to change our thoughts. Focusing on all or in fact any of the other problems in the world will drain your energy and make it impossible for you to create what you desire.

You must not focus on other people’s pain. The only way to help the world is by teaching them how to create their own reality. Just imagine for a second, if everyone in the world understood all of what I have written. Complete peace, complete harmony, total and utter serenity in all. Ok, where would there be need for charity? If there was a situation then it would be fixed before it grew, so it would not be there at all… makes you think a bit!

The Negative Affect Charity Has On Our Life’s Desires

Wallace Wattles wrote – “To look upon the appearances of poverty will produce corresponding forms in your own mind. Instead, you must hold to the truth that there is no poverty, there is only abundance.”

If you get heavily involved in working on a close level to the end recipient then the effect on you will be all too easy to lose yourself in it. If you decide to go down this road then you must stay alert and very, very present.

A much better way is to remain at the casual level of involvement as getting too involved is very risky for your state of mind. Personally I think the teaching of enlightenment would be a much better purpose as the result would be somewhat better than a tactical short term fix. And of course sharing your peace with the world, which is your most precious gift you can ever give.

The truth is that there is only abundance, and there is only good health, but it requires considerable power to think this way when surrounded by the appearances of sickness and poverty. So if you can acquire this way of thinking, then there lies an abundant power source for you to tap into.

It is our duty to get rich so that we can live more. The desire to become rich is simply the desire for a larger, more fulfilling life. There is NOTHING negative or horrible in a desire to become rich, and anyone who says otherwise is simply unconscious. So if you want to become rich then you do not study poverty. Nothing is created by thinking or focusing on its opposite.

Health can never be attained by studying the disease and concentrating on the disease. This is backwards thinking. Yet it is the way modern medicine has worked for centuries. You don’t go to someone who is broke, to study how not to become broke! Why discuss poverty, or spend time thinking about it? Whatever has your attention you are creating more of in your life. What concerns you is not the disease, but the cure.

You cannot hold the creative mental image which is absolutely necessary to make you rich if you let lack pictures into your mind. A cure for poverty is not getting pictures of poverty into the minds of wealthy people, but getting pictures of wealth into the minds of the poor.

The poor or wretched do not need our charity, they need our inspiration. Most charitable efforts only send fish. It doesn’t teach them how to fish. All efforts of this sort need to be altered to teaching rather than giving. From there inspiration will cause them to rise out of their misery.

If you really want to help the poor, then demonstrate to them that they can become rich. First you have to prove it by being rich yourself. So charity starts at home, by you getting rich. Or as Ayn Rand said, “The best way I can help the poor is to not be one of them.”

Change your thinking to think instead of, ‘the riches that the world is coming into’, rather than the ‘poverty it is growing out of.’ Stop thinking of the poor as those to be pitied. They are merely people who need to be inspired to become rich. As in fact they are extremely fortunate because for them to become rich requires a lot less effort than for us to become rich… to a family living on £1 a day, £1,000 is very, very rich. Thanks to the way the world works now, there is no reason why anyone who has an internet connection in the third world cannot make themselves rich!

Charitable work has trained us to think if we work at it then we can fix it. Whereas the truth is that if you try to fix anything then you will get more of that – so the truth, even though it sounds backwards, is To not to try and fix things.

But Then We Will Feel Guilty!

Why? I don’t feel sorry! I don’t feel guilty! To feel guilty would mean I would have had to do something wrong. What have I done wrong? What have you done wrong? Guilt is a great tool in a marketers tool box!

Focusing on others’ hurt in the world just drains your energy and robs you of your ability to create. The only way to heal the world is to heal yourself first. Never feel sorry (stop yourself when you do). Always just see a positive outcome & send the thought of that outcome. You can still act if you want to, but observe your reasons why before doing so, and then think about what the actual outcome will be. Not the outcome you want it to be just so that you can make yourself feel better.

At this moment, I know change can only take place on the inside, and I can only make change happen one person at a time, and it has to be what they desire. So I don’t force anything, I merely turn on the light. You can too if you give it enough thought!

Keep observing your thoughts, stay present,


PS ~ Charity is injurious unless it helps the recipient to become independent of it. ~ John D. Rockefeller

(& my favourite)~ Charity sees the need not the cause. ~ German Proverb

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Topics: A Bug Free Mind Free Stuff, Free Content, Other Stuff, Personal Development, Spiritual Development, Wealth Creation | 2 Comments »

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